Bed 'R US !!

Not much news this fortnight, but a funny thing happenned today, I am still giggling and tearing my hair out in frustration. Well, it all started 3 weeks ago actually.

We had a phone call from the South Alligator Aurora Lodge - one of the Kakadu resorts about 40 km from Jabiru. They have just bought all new beds for the motel, and wanted to know if any of the oldies wanted some free ensembles - queen and single were available. About 50 of them I estimate. Now, don't scoff about second hand beds. We all know the quality of beds that motels buy, mostly GREAT. I remember when one of the motels in Broken Hill - think it was the Miners Lamp - sold out some of their beds, and we all got some, (remember Suze??). Those beds lasted me for years, and my two eldest never had it so good.

OK, so I said yes, of course, thinking not only of all my clients who (if they were lucky) had a thin mattress on the floor, but also of me, a Queen size ensemble would be great for guests.

2 weeks went by and I was trying to come up with a way of getting some 10 or 12 beds and bases back into Jabiru, so I rang the CDEP mob. (Work for the dole). I was quoted some silly price for the job, so I said "I'll get back to you", and decided to approach Sammo. Sammo works for the same organisation as I do, he's a large indigenous man who comes in probably 2 or 3 of his designated 5 days a week, and has a cup of coffee, and if he's a bit tired might spend the majority of the day dozing under a nearby tree with family members, but he's cool. AND, as luck would have it, he's also very important in CDEP.

Sure he says, I'll do it.

I suggest that I come with him and supervise, but he says NO, I have a culpe of blokes, you just stay here and I'll be back in a cuple of hours. SO, I give him a list of how many beds, and for whom they are intended. That list, I might add, is never seen again.

He arrives back with a trailer loaded up. I get very excited and then I realise that most of the "beds" are just bases, some with legs, some without. I ask him where the other legs are, and he says that he must have left them behind. I ask how come he hasn't got the sets, ie. matching bases and matresses, and he pats me affectionately and says not to worry, he will match them all up in due course. So, I tell him where each bed is to be delivered and again ask if I can come, but again he insists that he and the boys are quite capable. He will deliver what he has, then return for another load and make sure that all beds are matched up.

OK, so I go out and check that everyone on the list has beds. First house. NO BED. Second house NO BED. House next to that (which was not on the list) 4 bases, ONE matress (a queen size which is sitting on a single base) One Matress and base hanging over a fence. All bedding out in the yard. Third house, which was supposed to get 2 single beds..... 2 single bed BASES, two queen size beds and matresses. Again, all bedding in the yard.
Fourth house - Tent, actually, the correct bed and the correct base.

Me??? No bed. His cousin who found out about our plan only today??? One queen size bed and one single. Every other Tom Dick and Harry??? Beds, beds, beds.......

He is walking the green mile tomorrow if my bed and the two missing oldies beds are not on the trailer tomorrow by 10 oclock.

I had to laugh though, because I reminded me of a gorgeous man at the aboriginal community of Wadeye, when I took him outside and asked him to put new number plates on the bus, showed him how to unscrew the old ones and put the new one on.... Thomas was not the sharpest, but such a gentle giant... He came back inside half an hour later, so pleased with himself.... bringing with him the two old number plates... Two different numbers( ?..) Out I went and only then realised that he'd put one on the front of the bus, and the other one on the front of the Troopy. He was so happy with the job I never had the heart to tell him...