Completely man-less (that includes son-less, male friend-less and even nerdy neighbour-less), I have taken on my own Backyard Blitz. I now have a hot line to Bunnings Darwin, the most amazing store ever - in fact I think I'd rather spend the day there than at Dreamworld - and it's free to get in - AND has a sausage sizzle out front on Saturday mornings. They know me well there. The last time I rang to speak to 'special orders' (you gotta get the right department, if you get 'dispatch' or 'home delivery' or something, they've never heard of you), the last time I spoke to MY department, I heard in the background "I already spoke to HER today, I just told her only an hour ago....blah blah blah" Yeah, they know me well, but you gotta keep them on their toes. Anyhow, in the last 2 weeks I have bought a new outdoor setting and a gazebo. (see below)
The thing is, dear FEMALE readers, these things do not arrive as expected.
What you get is boxes. HUGE, HEAVY boxes. I was about to ring 'special orders' yet again, and say, hey, where's my stuff?? but then I saw the words written on these boxes... Gazebo, Table, etc.... and thought 'Ummmmm...?'
OK, so what I realised I had to do was start pulling these boxes apart, because I sure as hell couldn't move them. Firstly I put the table together - using the DIRECTIONS (for those males reading, this is a sheet of paper that comes inside the box and tells you, step by tedious step, how it's done). Then I put a chair together, yes, even the chairs come in bits, and then I got bored and started with the gazebo. When reading page 1. of the directions it said;
This item is heavy. Do not assemble this item alone.
That's when I knew I could do it.
THREE EFFIN TIMES I screwed the bars onto the big frame of the canopy - first time upside down, second time I put the short ones at the corners 'stead of the long ones -- was there any mention of 'short ones must be at the corners?? No.....
Anyway, all's ready for the final stage of the erection now, just a matter of getting some big strong person to help me lift the canopy onto the bottom frame so's I can screw it all together and I'm done.
Only one problem may remain. If I get a cyclone, those of you in WA look out your window, and if you see my gazebo fly past, please try and rope it down for me.
Thanks
6 comments:
You are so funny Pin. I might see your gazebo fly straight past Nifty!!! The sky doesnt look too good today actually!
I put together some bar stools once, because Ben was late getting home from work and i wanted them together. I thought i did a fantastic job until about 3 months later when the screws all came loose and ... lets just say it could have been very nasty.
So i have no doubts in my mind that i can do a man's job, but i do accept that i am not as strong and cant do things up as tightly.
Isn't it liberating!!
I got a house full of 'ready to erect' furniture when i moved to Cobar & did it all while the kids were sleeping.
And i even did the screws up tight enough!
I hope your masterpiece doesn't fly away, make sure you put a little tag on it that says "if i'm lost, can you return me to .... address" LOL
Good on you anyway, I'm positive that women can absloutely do those things.
Good work Pin!!
I single-handedly put together mum's garden shed a few weeks ago, and no one could understand why I wanted to show the world, that even the door opened!
It feels as if a cyclone is coming our way at the moment...gustly winds, you know.....I must say that it was Benn that dyna bolted the shed down, so you guys wont see it fly by your way.
Good on you Pin...Job well done!
Love Amie True
ROFL!!
It's fun to try and do these things occasionally... when there's no male around to do them for us, that is!
If I see that gazebo out this way, i'll strap it down in my new backyard and await your arrival in September to christen it!
Speaking of wisecracks, I just noticed that Cherry ticking over when I first opened the page and (conveniently forgetting that it was a clock)wondered what EXACTLY you were counting up???
*insert Dr Evil pinkie finger in mouth* HMMMMM?
Bloody marvellous effort that!
Im impressed and envious. I saw those at Bunnings here a while ago and recently they were on special. They're pretty snazzy!
Job well done Pin.
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